Chapter 6, Crush the Sprinkler Guild, May 9, 2006
I suspect it as much. What the lady at the Home Depot called the Sprinkler Repair Cult is an emerging guild seeking privileges and regulations from the government.
That means a supply restriction, high prices, or another do-it-yourself project. But there is a way around it.
I first began to smell a rat when the automatic irrigation system on my front yard needed
work, but I had unusual struggles in trying to find a repair guy.
The first place I called informed me they could accept no more clients.
Clients?
I just wanted a new sprinkler thing, for goodness sake.
I don't want to be a client.
I want to be a customer.
Is there no one who can put on a new sprayer or stick a screwdriver in there or whatever
The next call was not returned. The next call ended with the person on the line fearfully
saying that they do landscaping but will have nothing to do with sprinklers or automated
irrigation systems. Um, okay.
The next call seemed more promising. The secretary said they had an opening on the schedule in
Three weeks. Three weeks? In that period of time, my yard would be the color of a brown paper bag.
The next call failed. And the next one. And the next. Finally, I was back to the off-putting
secretary. I made the appointment, but the guy never came. Fortunately, in the meantime,
a good rain came. And then at regular intervals for the whole season, and I was spared having
."
Why all the fuss? We aren't talking brain surgery here. These are sprinklers, little
spray nozzles connected to tubes connected to a water supply. Why was everyone so touchy
about the subject? Why did all the power seem to be in their hands and none in mine? Must
Must I crawl and beg? Above all, I wonder why, with most all lawns and new subdivisions
sporting these little things, why, oh, why are the people who repair them in such short
supply? Little did I know that I had stumbled on to the real existence of a most peculiar
thing in our otherwise highly competitive economy, a guild. It had all the earmarks.
If you want your nails buffed, there are thousands of people in town who stand ready. If you
want someone to make you dinner, you can take your pick among thousands of restaurants.
If you want to buy a beer, you can barely go a block without bumping into a merchant
who is glad to sell you one. None of that is true with sprinkler repair.
What does a guild do? It attempts to restrict service. And why? To keep the price as high
as high as possible. And how? By admitting only specialists or supposed specialists to
the ranks of service providers usually through the creation of some strange but largely artificial
system of exams or payments or whatever.
Guilds don't last in a free market. No one can blame producers for trying to put it off,
but they must always deal with defectors. Even the prospect of defectors can cause people
There is just no keeping a producer clique together for long when profits are at stake.
There is also the problem that temporarily successful guilds face.
High profits attract new entrants into the field.
They must either join the guild or go their own way.
This creates an economically unviable situation in a market setting that is always driving
for a Market Clearing Rate of Return
Further evidence of the existence of a sprinkler guild came from the checkout lady at the Home
Depot. I was buying a sprinkler head, and she said in passing that they didn't use
to carry these things, that the decision of the manufacturer to supply them in retail
got some people mighty upset. She spoke of the sprinkler repair people as a cult that
should be smashed.
Now, does this Guild really exist or is it an informal arrangement among a handful of
local suppliers?
As best I can tell, here's the Guild's website, www.irrigation.org slash default.aspx.
The Irrigation Association is active in providing a voice for the industry on public policy
issues related to standards, conservation and water use on local, national and international
levels, acting as a source of technical and public policy information within the industry,
raising awareness of the benefits of professional irrigation services, offering professional
training and certification, uniting irrigation professionals including irrigation equipment
manufacturers, distributors and dealers, irrigation system designers, contractors,
educators, researchers and technicians from the public and private sectors.
Watch that, certification, unity, standards, public policy, these are all dangerous words
that come down to the same result, high prices and bad service.
Why should anyone become certified?
Prestige and credibility among peers and customers, professional advancement opportunities, enhances
is the professional image of the industry, your industry.
I thought I needed a sprinkler repairman, but these people want me to hire a Certified
Landscape Irrigation Manager, a CLEM.
How do you become a CLEM?
Well, you have to send in $400 plus a resume that includes an overview summary of how you
plan to meet program criteria.
Two examples of project development to include System Design Objective, System Budget Estimate,
Water Source Development, System Design Drawings, Hydraulic, Electrical, Detailed Drawings,
Pump Station, Project Specifications, General Specification, Installation Specification,
Material Specification, Pump Station.
Two system audits or evaluations to include Audit, System Performance, Uniformity, Base
Case Schedule, Recommendations for Improvement, Evaluation, System Performance, Uniformity,
Hydraulic Analysis, Electrical Analysis, Grounding, Water Source, Product Performance,
Recommendations for Improvement, Two Construction and or Construction Management Projects, Site
Visit Reports, Drawing of Record, Final Irrigation Schedule, Punch Lists.
Of course, they are working with government, federal, state and local.
They want restrictions of every sort.
They want their own turf and landscape irrigation, best management practices, or BMP, to be the
law of the land.
You can read more about this here.
How hip-deep are these people in government?
It's hard to say, but I'm guessing that local developers, landscapers, builders and
others are intimidated by all these and are reluctant to challenge their monopoly.
So thank goodness for hardware stores. They are working to bust up these vicious little
guilds to the benefit of the consumer and everyone else. It means having to stick your
fingers in mud and read instruction manuals and the like, but sometimes the defense of liberty
The Theory of Money requires that you get your hands a little dirty.