WEBVTT NOTE 1. My Youth 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.520 Chapter 1, My Youth Many readers will be astonished that the author 2 00:00:04.520 --> 00:00:10.200 of this book, the title of which is My Years with Ludwig von Mises, writes a whole chapter 3 00:00:10.200 --> 00:00:15.840 about her own youth. Others, however, would like to know more about this woman, whom Professor 4 00:00:15.840 --> 00:00:21.680 Mises met when he was 44 years old, asked to marry him the next year, though he did 5 00:00:21.680 --> 00:00:28.680 not sign that scrap of paper, as he expressed himself, before he was 58 years old. It is 6 00:00:28.680 --> 00:00:34.000 It's not easy for me to talk about myself, but I think the reader has to know more about 7 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:40.040 me, because otherwise Ludwig von Mises' decision to marry so late in his life would not be 8 00:00:40.040 --> 00:00:45.520 easy to comprehend. A knowledge of my own life will also explain why our marriage was 9 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:50.520 happy. From my book, the reader will get an insight of what each of us brought to our 10 00:00:50.520 --> 00:00:51.680 marriage. 11 00:00:51.680 --> 00:00:57.640 I was born in Hamburg. Hamburg was then, and I believe it still is today, one of the most 12 00:00:57.640 --> 00:01:04.640 Hamburg was one of those three Hansestadt, Hamburg, Lubeck, Bremen, whose life differed 13 00:01:12.520 --> 00:01:19.040 greatly from all other cities in Germany. Hamburg had its own senate and its own judiciary, 14 00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:24.040 and its people had the reputation of being haughty and arrogant. They admired England 15 00:01:24.040 --> 00:01:28.040 and the English People, and they displayed a great similarity to the English in their 16 00:01:28.040 --> 00:01:34.340 living habits and customs. Whereas most Germans ate their main meal at noon, the Hamburg citizen 17 00:01:34.340 --> 00:01:40.400 followed the English custom and dined after business hours, when the day's work was over. 18 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:45.520 At noon, the well-to-do merchants and bankers, dressed in their frock coats, top hats on 19 00:01:45.520 --> 00:01:51.400 their heads, walked along Alsterbeisen, on Jungfurtstike, the most beautiful street in 20 00:01:51.400 --> 00:01:57.200 in Hamburg to attend the stock exchange. Then they went home to their elegant houses, all 21 00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:03.880 surrounded by park-like gardens, to enjoy their money, and sometimes also their families. 22 00:02:03.880 --> 00:02:08.680 I did not know my maternal grandfather and I do not remember much of my grandmother. 23 00:02:08.680 --> 00:02:14.240 My mother's family was well known and rather wealthy. Two stories were told about them. 24 00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:19.040 One story was that my grandfather owned a mill and made his money with it. The second 25 00:02:19.040 --> 00:02:25.560 My story, which interested me far more since it captured my imagination, was that my grandfather, 26 00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:31.520 for some time at least, was a co-owner and administrator of the Hamburg City Opera. What 27 00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:36.840 I know for certain, however, is that my grandmother was an opera fan, and that one night she went 28 00:02:36.840 --> 00:02:44.080 to the opera in a far advanced state of pregnancy to hear Diakoma Meyerbeer's La Friquenne. 29 00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:49.720 The same night her third little girl, my mother, was born, and she rewarded the baby for arriving 30 00:02:49.720 --> 00:02:56.120 promptly by naming her Selica, after the heroine of Lafricaine. My mother did not resent this 31 00:02:56.120 --> 00:03:01.520 name as much as I did. On the contrary, she was very proud of it, and felt obliged to 32 00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:07.660 study music as a career and become a pianist. But she never played in public. 33 00:03:07.660 --> 00:03:13.040 My father's family lived in Hanover, Germany. My father and his family were not very close, 34 00:03:13.040 --> 00:03:18.900 So I know little about these relatives. Father, whom I adored, died at a very young age. He 35 00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:25.100 was restless, gay, very intelligent, witty and enterprising. My parents had married when 36 00:03:25.100 --> 00:03:30.900 young and the first baby was a boy. When I was six months old they went to America and 37 00:03:30.900 --> 00:03:36.140 my father studied orthodontics in Chicago. He intended to stay in the United States but 38 00:03:36.140 --> 00:03:41.540 my mother got homesick and after almost five years they returned to Hamburg where father 39 00:03:41.540 --> 00:03:46.740 Robert became one of the first dentists ever to work exclusively on children. 40 00:03:46.740 --> 00:03:50.160 So it was that I learned English before I learned German. 41 00:03:50.160 --> 00:03:55.740 My mother, who was ambitious for her children, my older brother died in the First World War, 42 00:03:55.740 --> 00:04:00.600 insisted that we speak English at home and employed an English governess for us. 43 00:04:00.600 --> 00:04:03.660 She did not want us to forget the English language. 44 00:04:03.660 --> 00:04:07.220 That proved to be one of the wisest things she could have done for us. 45 00:04:07.220 --> 00:04:13.020 I was sent to one of the best private schools in Hamburg, Elizabeth Goethe-Texter School 46 00:04:13.020 --> 00:04:15.320 in Harvesterhood. 47 00:04:15.320 --> 00:04:19.820 My mother was convinced that it would be necessary to learn foreign languages, and when I was 48 00:04:19.820 --> 00:04:24.860 about 12 or 13 years old she engaged for us a French mademoiselle. 49 00:04:24.860 --> 00:04:28.380 But apparently she did not choose very well. 50 00:04:28.380 --> 00:04:32.660 Once in spring my parents traveled to Brussels to see an exhibition. 51 00:04:32.660 --> 00:04:37.780 I came back unexpectedly wanting to surprise me in the park with Mademoiselle. It was a 52 00:04:37.780 --> 00:04:43.460 welcome surprise for me, but not exactly for Mademoiselle. Every afternoon she had left 53 00:04:43.460 --> 00:04:48.980 me sitting on a bench with a book while she went shopping for one or two hours. So it 54 00:04:48.980 --> 00:04:54.020 was on the day when my parents came. I seem to remember that was her last afternoon with 55 00:04:54.020 --> 00:04:56.180 me in the park. 56 00:04:56.180 --> 00:05:02.180 I loved school and became a fanatical reader. This surely was a heritage from my father. 57 00:05:02.180 --> 00:05:06.100 One night, when my parents had retired, I went into the living room and took the books 58 00:05:06.100 --> 00:05:10.840 he had read that day and brought them to my bedroom. I read them by candlelight, putting 59 00:05:10.840 --> 00:05:16.600 a blanket at the bottom of the door to hide the light. My parents never found out. 60 00:05:16.600 --> 00:05:20.640 When I was through with school, my father wanted me to study medicine, in which I had 61 00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:26.640 always shown a great interest. At that time there were no special high schools for girls. 62 00:05:26.640 --> 00:05:30.880 So my parents discovered the quickest way for me to get a degree was to attend the teacher 63 00:05:30.880 --> 00:05:53.880 When I was 17, I was invited to take the junior lead in an amateur performance, and by chance a reporter attended the play and wrote about me. That decided my future. From that day on, nothing interested me but the stage. I dropped out of the seminar one year before the final exams and refused to go back. 64 00:05:53.880 --> 00:06:00.080 My father had always been a great enthusiast of the theater. He knew his Schiller, Goethe 65 00:06:00.080 --> 00:06:06.160 and Shakespeare by heart. Almost every Sunday he attended a performance of a classic, and 66 00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:12.240 I was usually allowed to go with him. So he was not surprised by my decision. But my mother 67 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:19.160 objected strongly. In those days a bourgeois family looked upon an actress as a lost sheep. 68 00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:24.980 One admired actresses, that was at that time as it is today, but certain narrow-thinking 69 00:06:24.980 --> 00:06:31.380 bourgeois were convinced that actresses were a better class of call girls, whom one envied 70 00:06:31.380 --> 00:06:36.880 on account of their elegance and their appearance, but to whom one felt morally superior. 71 00:06:36.880 --> 00:06:42.480 It was different with singers, perhaps because one knew that they received higher wages. 72 00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:47.680 Strangely enough, their private lives were not so much discussed as they are today. Home 73 00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:53.280 Home life became unbearable. My mother made life so difficult for me that one day I secretly 74 00:06:53.280 --> 00:06:58.400 put an ad in the newspaper and got a job as a tutor for an 11-year-old girl, the daughter 75 00:06:58.400 --> 00:07:04.100 of a banker in Cologne. I left home, but that was too much for my father. I assumed there 76 00:07:04.100 --> 00:07:09.060 must have been some high words between my parents. Anyhow, some weeks later my father 77 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:14.020 wrote and asked me to come home. He said he would not object to my following the career 78 00:07:14.020 --> 00:07:16.020 of My Choice. 79 00:07:16.020 --> 00:07:21.260 The first thing for me to do was to see Carl Hegemann, who at that time was the director 80 00:07:21.260 --> 00:07:26.820 and chief manager of the Deutsch-Schossbrilhaus, the foremost theater in Hamburg. 81 00:07:26.820 --> 00:07:31.260 He took a liking to me and accepted me as a student actress without pay, even though 82 00:07:31.260 --> 00:07:33.800 I had no formal training. 83 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:38.460 I was allowed to attend all rehearsals and performances, and was promised small parts 84 00:07:38.460 --> 00:07:40.140 when they would come up. 85 00:07:40.140 --> 00:07:44.980 Hagemann also made me take speech lessons with the official instructor of the theater. 86 00:07:44.980 --> 00:07:49.960 I attended rehearsals from morning to night. At that time, and I think it is most likely 87 00:07:49.960 --> 00:07:55.980 still today, all the theaters in Germany and Austria were repertory theaters, and young 88 00:07:55.980 --> 00:08:01.700 actors and actresses had to study about 12 to 15 leading parts that came up regularly 89 00:08:01.700 --> 00:08:07.660 at certain intervals in every theater. My honest enthusiasm excited the interest of 90 00:08:07.660 --> 00:08:14.140 by one of the leading stage directors, Ludwig Max, who also acted in classics. He was a 91 00:08:14.140 --> 00:08:19.740 tall, beautiful, white-haired old man, adored by the public. As is so often the case with 92 00:08:19.740 --> 00:08:25.900 comedians, he was a rather serious and reflective man. He studied with me once a week, never 93 00:08:25.900 --> 00:08:31.820 asked for a fee, and no one in later years was prouder of my success than he. He also 94 00:08:31.820 --> 00:09:01.820 He also regularly cast me in small parts in the plays he produced. Carl Hegeman was the first personality who really influenced my life. He opened my eyes to everything that was beautiful. He gave me books about art. He made me visit the old painters who were sources of ideas and colors for his productions. He showed me the close connection between music and the spoken word. Later, shortly before the Second World War, he conducted operas in Berlin. 95 00:09:01.820 --> 00:09:08.820 In later years, I played this role on every stage I appeared. There were two or three young actresses in whose future Hageman was interested. He used to call us his children. He himself had no family. Nothing concerning us was unimportant to him. He even tried to improve our taste in fashion. If a young woman has talent, he can do it. 96 00:09:31.820 --> 00:09:37.220 He used to say, she does not need to prove this by fancy clothes or make-up. Harmony 97 00:09:37.220 --> 00:09:41.100 in colors and taste is the main thing. 98 00:09:41.100 --> 00:09:45.780 Without knowing, Hageman did even more for me. He showed me the way to a second career 99 00:09:45.780 --> 00:09:51.160 which I took up later in Vienna after the death of my first husband. He knew about my 100 00:09:51.160 --> 00:09:56.960 upbringing and my knowledge of English, which he could not speak, and since he was interested 101 00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:02.640 at that time in a new adaptation of Oscar Wilde's Lady Windermere's Fan. Oscar Wilde 102 00:10:02.640 --> 00:10:08.240 was one of his favorite modern authors. He asked me to do a rough translation of it. 103 00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:13.600 That was a big task, and my work must have been to his liking. He corrected and adapted 104 00:10:13.600 --> 00:10:19.560 it, and twenty years after its first publication, Lady Windermere's Fan was printed in a new 105 00:10:19.560 --> 00:10:25.140 translation. Hageman gave me a leather-bound copy inscribed to Greta. Greta was the name 106 00:10:25.140 --> 00:10:31.140 I was called as a child, for her intelligent and sensitive help, the publisher. I still 107 00:10:31.140 --> 00:10:32.860 have the book. 108 00:10:32.860 --> 00:10:37.740 One of Hagerman's most brilliant productions was Oscar Wilde's Salome, and one of his 109 00:10:37.740 --> 00:10:44.600 greatest discoveries was a young Polish actress, Maria Orska. She claimed to be, how the relationship 110 00:10:44.600 --> 00:10:51.100 came about I never knew, the niece of the late Justice Felix Frankfurter, who was Austrian 111 00:10:51.100 --> 00:10:57.460 This young woman had the most beautiful eyes and most delicate and expressive hands I have 112 00:10:57.460 --> 00:11:03.460 ever seen. But she was far too heavy for her height. Haggemann wanted her to play the lead 113 00:11:03.460 --> 00:11:08.580 in Salome, but three weeks before her debut he told her he would not let her go on stage 114 00:11:08.580 --> 00:11:15.500 and dance unless she lost 15 pounds. Maria went on a diet and she was a sensational success 115 00:11:15.500 --> 00:11:20.860 on opening night. But it was the beginning of the end. She had taken to drugs and one 116 00:11:20.860 --> 00:11:25.620 One love affair followed another. A well-known banker, who was married but in love with 117 00:11:25.620 --> 00:11:31.620 Maria, committed suicide. He could not stand life without her. Maria Orska played a big 118 00:11:31.620 --> 00:11:38.580 part in my life. Because of her frequent indisposition, I got my first chance in the theater. Hageman 119 00:11:38.580 --> 00:11:44.620 was producing a new play, Gudrun by Ernst Hart. It was the old story of Gudrun and Siegfried 120 00:11:44.620 --> 00:11:46.540 Scene from Another Angle 121 00:11:46.540 --> 00:11:52.500 Originally I had a small part in the play, one of Gudrun's maidens. Maria Orska played 122 00:11:52.500 --> 00:11:57.040 Singend, the supporting lead, a young woman full of passion. 123 00:11:57.040 --> 00:11:58.920 One afternoon my telephone rang. 124 00:11:58.920 --> 00:12:03.860 Deutcheasvillhaus, Orska is sick. Could you take over her part tonight? 125 00:12:03.860 --> 00:12:05.100 Of course, I said. 126 00:12:05.100 --> 00:12:10.320 Be here half an hour earlier, came the reply. We'll give you a short rehearsal. We are sure 127 00:12:10.320 --> 00:12:11.860 you know the part. 128 00:12:11.860 --> 00:12:15.980 I came through all right. The next day I got a letter from the theater and a check for 129 00:12:15.980 --> 00:12:21.440 fifty marks. It was the first money I had earned in my life. I knew now that the world 130 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:26.380 was open to me. Hageman advised me I would do better at a smaller theater where I would 131 00:12:26.380 --> 00:12:31.220 have the opportunity to play all the parts I had been studying. My agent looked around 132 00:12:31.220 --> 00:12:37.180 for an opening and, as a start, made a contract for me with the Stadttheater in Bremerhaven. 133 00:12:37.180 --> 00:12:43.260 The summer before, however, I had a job with Leopold Jesner at the Talia Theater, the second 134 00:12:43.260 --> 00:12:48.540 outstanding theater in Hamburg. Jesner was one of the three producer stars famous at 135 00:12:48.540 --> 00:12:54.140 that time all over Europe, Reinhard Hagemann Jesner. He was the original founder of the 136 00:12:54.140 --> 00:13:00.360 People's Theater, first-class literature with a good cast at popular prices. Among the actresses 137 00:13:00.360 --> 00:13:05.580 he had under contract was a young beginner whom I had met before. She was the daughter 138 00:13:05.580 --> 00:13:35.580 One day, when the Superintendent took me down in the elevator from Hageman's apartment, he asked me to meet his daughter, who wanted to become an actress. Her name was Emmy Sonneman. She was a slim, shy, blonde girl with regular features. Her talent never impressed me, but I shall always remember her wearing a starched white blouse and a blue pleated skirt. We spoke to each other frequently, and I liked her. She later became a woman. 139 00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:41.020 Well-Known Actress, but even better known when she became the wife of Hermann Göring 140 00:13:41.020 --> 00:13:47.020 and as such Germany's first lady during the Nazi regime. Bremerhaven, where I spent the 141 00:13:47.020 --> 00:13:53.020 next winter, is a small seaport near Bremen. Most of the big transatlantic vessels of the 142 00:13:53.020 --> 00:13:59.900 Hattberg, Hamburg-American line, landed there or in Cuxhaven, the seaport of Hamburg. I 143 00:13:59.900 --> 00:14:09.900 I was very busy that winter, on stage almost every night. I played Desdemona, Julia, Gretchen from Faust, Ibsen's Nora and more. 144 00:14:09.900 --> 00:14:17.900 I only stayed one year, then went to Lubeck, which had a beautiful new theatre, its interior all paneled in cherry wood. 145 00:14:17.900 --> 00:14:24.900 It also had a keen-minded director. There I was allowed to play almost every part of my repertoire, 146 00:14:24.900 --> 00:14:30.660 The director even had me play the Henriette and Strindberg's Rache, or Ecstasy, and the 147 00:14:30.660 --> 00:14:36.060 emotionally complicated Clara-Hunerwadel and Weidekind's Music. 148 00:14:36.060 --> 00:14:40.420 This little treasure of a theatre was burned down during the Second World War when struck 149 00:14:40.420 --> 00:14:42.160 by a bomb. 150 00:14:42.160 --> 00:14:47.860 From Lübeck I was called to Vienna with a very good contract for the Deutschwuchstheater, 151 00:14:47.860 --> 00:14:52.620 which at that time, after the Bergtheater, was the leading stage in Austria. 152 00:14:52.620 --> 00:14:56.780 When the public in Lubeck realized that a young actress from their provincial town was 153 00:14:56.780 --> 00:15:02.620 called to Vienna for leading parts, the theater was sold out whenever I'd played. 154 00:15:02.620 --> 00:15:07.660 My debut in Vienna was as rawhead and grill posers Euden von Toledo. 155 00:15:07.660 --> 00:15:12.500 I had a great success in this part, although one or another critic was disturbed by my 156 00:15:12.500 --> 00:15:14.640 North German accent. 157 00:15:14.640 --> 00:15:16.580 That would change, though, they said. 158 00:15:16.580 --> 00:15:20.900 My second part was Princess Ebolie in Schiller's Don Carlos. 159 00:15:20.900 --> 00:15:26.820 I was the youngest eboli ever on the Austrian stage. With me in this play were Fritz Kortner, 160 00:15:26.820 --> 00:15:32.620 King Philip, who later went to Hollywood, and Erika von Wagner, Queen Elizabeth, who 161 00:15:32.620 --> 00:15:38.980 a few years later married Fritz Steidri, conductor of the Metropolitan Opera. One of my favorite 162 00:15:38.980 --> 00:15:45.660 roles was the gypsy girl Masha in Tolstoy's Living Corpse. Another was Regine in Ibsen's 163 00:15:45.660 --> 00:15:51.380 Both parts I played with Moisey, the most famous actor of the time. 164 00:15:51.380 --> 00:15:56.120 Through friends I was introduced to Professor Emil Reich, the well-known Ibsen and Grill 165 00:15:56.120 --> 00:16:02.040 parser expert. When he heard that my stage debut in Vienna would be Rahel, Euden von 166 00:16:02.040 --> 00:16:07.040 Delito was the opening performance of the season, he offered to study the part once 167 00:16:07.040 --> 00:16:13.580 more with me. But you must never tell anyone about it, he said. As a trustee of the Volkstheater, 168 00:16:13.580 --> 00:16:27.740 Professor Rice was a small and, it seemed to me, very old man with a long beard. He 169 00:16:27.740 --> 00:16:33.060 was recently divorced from his wife. He gave me much useful advice and I was very grateful 170 00:16:33.060 --> 00:16:38.460 for his interest, but actually I did not like him very much. He was always in a bad mood, 171 00:16:38.460 --> 00:16:43.060 He was always negative about everything, but he worked with me on every part I played and 172 00:16:43.060 --> 00:16:48.580 explained and deepened my understanding and feeling. During my first weeks in Vienna, 173 00:16:48.580 --> 00:16:55.380 in 1916, I met my first husband, Ferdinand G. Serenny. He was Hungarian and much older 174 00:16:55.380 --> 00:17:01.580 than I. He was a man of the world and had a wonderful way with women. This and his intelligence, 175 00:17:01.580 --> 00:17:07.140 combined with his great concern for my well-being, made me fall in love with him. I called him 176 00:17:07.140 --> 00:17:34.140 We were secretly married in Budapest in February 1917. This secrecy had good reasons. In those days, every actress had a clause in her contract, which forbade her to marry without consent of her director. As I had not thought of marriage, I had not taken any notice of this paragraph when signing my contract. But now this prohibition against marriage seemed to me almost indecent, and I rebelled. 177 00:17:34.140 --> 00:17:58.140 I did not ask Director Vollner's permission to marry, and so my marriage had to be in secret, but very soon I got pregnant. Yet I had to go on acting. My roles were mostly young, innocent, seductive women, and I had to represent them with the knowledge of a swelling tummy. But I must have carried my baby well, for no one noticed anything, at least they made no remarks. 178 00:17:58.140 --> 00:18:03.140 I was six months pregnant when the theater closed for summer vacations. 179 00:18:03.140 --> 00:18:09.140 Ferry and I went to Carlsbad and later to Budapest, where my little boy Guido was born. 180 00:18:09.140 --> 00:18:12.140 From that very moment I changed. 181 00:18:12.140 --> 00:18:18.140 It was as if a cover had fallen from my soul, and love became another meaning for me. 182 00:18:18.140 --> 00:18:22.140 I felt the mystery of love a mother feels for her child. 183 00:18:22.140 --> 00:18:27.140 It came with the first cry of the baby, and will stay as long as I live. 184 00:18:27.140 --> 00:18:49.140 Shortly after Guido's birth, I wrote director Valner, was forgiven for my marriage, and asked to return to the theater immediately. And from then on I had to work as usual. It was hard on me. There was the baby who gave me so much warmth and happiness. And there was the theater of my work, which I loved and could not and did not want to neglect. 185 00:18:49.140 --> 00:19:19.140 The living conditions did not soothe my inner conflict either. It was the last year of World War I, and the economic situation in Austria was very bad. People stood in line at bakeries, meat shops, and groceries. Even milk for babies was scarce. In the restaurants, more and more ersatz was being served, and the Austrian people, always great lovers of good food, began to revolt. In Budapest, I had not noticed the misery so much. Hungary, though still part of the great Austria, 186 00:19:19.140 --> 00:19:26.140 and the Austrian Empire, was better off, since it was an agrarian society, and there was always plenty of milk and butter. 187 00:19:26.140 --> 00:19:29.140 And all the time I had no real home. 188 00:19:29.140 --> 00:19:35.140 Ferry and I could not live together. He had to stay in his apartment, which was too small for a family. 189 00:19:35.140 --> 00:19:39.140 The baby, the nurse and I lived in the Hotel Bristol. 190 00:19:39.140 --> 00:19:48.140 I nursed the baby myself, and when I came home from rehearsals or performances, the nurse and the baby were always waiting for me, the nurse scolding the baby crying. 191 00:19:48.140 --> 00:20:10.140 My physician was Dr. Ludwig Adler, who later became the director of the Elizabeth Hospital in Vienna. He also was my doctor later in New York. He often recalled to my memory how he met me for the first time. It was four weeks after Guido was born when we returned to Vienna. I got ill and my husband asked him to come to the Hotel Bristol. 192 00:20:10.140 --> 00:20:23.140 I shall never forget, he told me, in the fireplace a wood fire was burning. An elegant nurse with a blue veiling cap received me in the living room. All over the golden chairs wet baby diapers were hanging. 193 00:20:23.140 --> 00:20:32.140 At that time one had to wash thirty to forty diapers every day. A difficult task for soap was scarce and so were coal and wood. 194 00:20:32.140 --> 00:20:42.140 It was impossible to get a good apartment as hard as fairy tried. There was no peace in the world, no peace in my heart, and other events added to the inner turmoil. 195 00:20:42.140 --> 00:20:52.140 That season, a rather sensational charge was brought against director Volner of the Volkstheater, and without any intention of mine, I became involved in it. 196 00:20:52.140 --> 00:21:04.140 For personal reasons, certain older actors and actresses felt animosity toward Volner and accused him of morally questionable behavior toward young actresses, me among them. 197 00:21:04.140 --> 00:21:11.140 He was, so they said, directing Euden Fontolito in a morally offensive and improper way. 198 00:21:11.140 --> 00:21:18.140 When the case came before the jury, the old actors and actresses were not allowed to take the oath. I was sworn in. 199 00:21:18.140 --> 00:21:34.140 I declared that I never felt any misgivings about Director Vollner or his manners, and whatever he said and whatever explanatory movements he may have made during rehearsals, it was done, I said, in the keenness and enthusiasm of artistic work. 200 00:21:34.140 --> 00:21:59.580 Why do I tell this story? At that time I did not know Professor von Mises, who was still 201 00:21:59.580 --> 00:22:05.060 in the Austrian Army. But when later, after the death of my first husband, Ludwig von 202 00:22:05.060 --> 00:22:11.020 Mises and I met in Vienna and became friends, I told him about it. Some time later he surprised 203 00:22:11.020 --> 00:22:17.100 me by telling me that he had gone to the archives of the Neue Freie Presse and looked up all 204 00:22:17.100 --> 00:22:23.020 the records about the case. He had to assure himself that I had spoken the truth. I did 205 00:22:23.020 --> 00:22:28.100 not renew my contract and the newspaper said that I had resigned for reasons of health. 206 00:22:28.100 --> 00:22:33.300 I was, of course, in perfect health, and was offered immediately an excellent contract 207 00:22:33.300 --> 00:22:36.080 for the Talia Theater in Hamburg. 208 00:22:36.080 --> 00:22:40.940 Barry asked me to stay, but I was still too selfish to be able to give up my career. 209 00:22:40.940 --> 00:22:45.620 I accepted the offer, though I realized I would have to leave my child also, at least 210 00:22:45.620 --> 00:22:47.460 for a while. 211 00:22:47.460 --> 00:22:53.580 The war was over, the Austrian Empire was torn to pieces, Germany was defeated. 212 00:22:53.580 --> 00:22:56.980 Traveling from one country to the other was now very difficult. 213 00:22:56.980 --> 00:23:01.800 There was not even a direct train connection between Vienna and Hamburg. One had to change 214 00:23:01.800 --> 00:23:07.220 trains at the border, and the trip took 29 hours. The cars were not heated, there were 215 00:23:07.220 --> 00:23:13.780 few train personnel, and there was no food, no milk at any of the stations. I could not 216 00:23:13.780 --> 00:23:18.740 subject my child to that. I first had to find suitable quarters before I could have him 217 00:23:18.740 --> 00:23:21.840 stay with me. I left. 218 00:23:21.840 --> 00:23:27.380 In Hamburg I played the same roles I had played in Vienna, again with Moissy as a guest. But 219 00:23:27.380 --> 00:23:32.640 one evening there was trouble in the theater. Moissy, in director's garb, had attended, 220 00:23:32.640 --> 00:23:37.740 with permission of the resident physician, a child's birth in a hospital, and students 221 00:23:37.740 --> 00:23:43.340 and women revolted against him. There was such a commotion at the end of the performance 222 00:23:43.340 --> 00:23:48.860 that the actors could not take their bows, the stagehands did not dare raise the curtain, 223 00:23:48.860 --> 00:23:54.740 And Moissy never again came to Hamburg. I was very lucky. I found a furnished apartment, 224 00:23:54.740 --> 00:24:00.100 modern, heated, in a good neighborhood. Ferry was so hurt and unhappy when I left that he 225 00:24:00.100 --> 00:24:05.980 could not work in Vienna. I felt guilty about it, but I was not yet ready to give in. When 226 00:24:05.980 --> 00:24:10.860 the train situation improved, it was around Christmas. He came with Guido and the nurse 227 00:24:10.860 --> 00:24:16.280 to Hamburg and stayed with me for four months. When he left, I soon discovered that I was 228 00:24:16.280 --> 00:24:21.360 I was pregnant again, and now Ferry implored me to come back to Vienna when my contract 229 00:24:21.360 --> 00:24:27.800 expired. He finally had found an apartment, and it was to be ready by the time we returned. 230 00:24:27.800 --> 00:24:32.400 The apartment was beautiful, located on the sixth floor of one of the few buildings that 231 00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:37.780 had central heating, at that time still a great luxury in Austria. From the windows 232 00:24:37.780 --> 00:24:43.440 we looked far over the roofs of the old buildings to the tower of St. Stephen's Cathedral. At 233 00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:48.240 At all times we heard the big clock chiming, and on Sundays and holidays the bells were 234 00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:54.720 ringing. I loved that apartment. For the first time I had a home. Finally I was at peace 235 00:24:54.720 --> 00:25:00.720 with myself. For some time at least. When my daughter Gitta was born I took care of 236 00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:06.160 her myself, and when I caught our cook cheating us by selling our eggs and groceries, which 237 00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:11.120 were so hard to get, for lots of money to other people, I dismissed her and started 238 00:25:11.120 --> 00:25:20.120 I had plenty of help in the house otherwise. We traveled a great deal, but always in Austria, and the children were with us wherever we went. 239 00:25:20.120 --> 00:25:24.120 Ferry was a wonderful father, happy and proud about his family. 240 00:25:24.120 --> 00:25:31.120 In the summer of 1923 I took the children to Travemunde, a bathing resort on the Baltic Sea. 241 00:25:31.120 --> 00:25:36.120 Ferry could not get away immediately, but was supposed to come a few weeks later. 242 00:25:36.120 --> 00:25:40.120 That was the worst year of the runaway inflation in Germany and Austria. 243 00:25:40.120 --> 00:25:50.120 I carried a suitcase with me, containing money for one day. Every evening my husband had to cable fresh money for the value of the crone decreased daily. 244 00:25:50.120 --> 00:26:05.120 One day I got a telegram from Ferry's secretary telling me to come back immediately. Ferry was seriously ill. I rushed home and hardly recognized him. He died at home a few weeks later of a lung sarcoma. He was a chain smoker. 245 00:26:05.120 --> 00:26:11.040 His physician was Dr. Rudolf Streisauer, a second cousin of my future husband, Professor 246 00:26:11.040 --> 00:26:12.840 von Mises. 247 00:26:12.840 --> 00:26:17.560 I was twenty-seven years old when I became a widow for the first time, with two small 248 00:26:17.560 --> 00:26:20.440 children and the inflation raging. 249 00:26:20.440 --> 00:26:23.960 Ferry had left a letter in which he begged me to stay with the children and not return 250 00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:25.460 to the stage. 251 00:26:25.460 --> 00:26:29.960 The letter was surely meant for the best interest of the children, but Ferry could not foresee 252 00:26:29.960 --> 00:26:33.800 the outcome of the economic situation. 253 00:26:33.800 --> 00:26:38.760 Schilling had consumed the value of all savings. I remember how I found, some months after 254 00:26:38.760 --> 00:26:44.600 Ferry's death, a wallet of his containing large sums of Austrian Kronen, the old currency 255 00:26:44.600 --> 00:26:49.920 that had since been changed into Schillings. The time allowance for exchanging Kronen into 256 00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:55.680 Schillings had expired. The value of the money was totally lost. Though we still had some 257 00:26:55.680 --> 00:27:00.120 real estate, it was not the right time to sell. I knew I would have to work to earn 258 00:27:00.120 --> 00:27:01.800 our living. 259 00:27:01.800 --> 00:27:06.960 One day that winter the Deutsch Volkstheater called. Maria Orska was supposed to perform 260 00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:13.040 that night as a guest Rachel in Juden von Toledo. She was in such a bad state, they said, 261 00:27:13.040 --> 00:27:19.720 that she was incapable of going on stage. Would I take over? I could not. I had to let 262 00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:26.160 them down. Ferry's letter haunted me. I tried various times. I got interesting offers, but 263 00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:32.320 I never had the courage to go on stage again. I could not forget that letter. Today I know 264 00:27:32.320 --> 00:27:33.920 that he never should have written it.